Jammers All Purpose Identification Chart

Compared notes with John Hannah who now runs the Castlemaine Jam sessions (first Sunday of each month at the Maurocco Bar). It seems that different jammmers fall neatly into the same categories.

The Beginner

Turns up without his or her instrument, otherwise desperately keen to play. The conversation goes something like this…

· Are you a musician? Answer, not really.

· Would you like to play/sing? Answer: no

· Which tunes would you like to not play/sing? Answer Autumn leaves, Summertime and/or Route 66

Beginner gets up and is often very good.

The Professional.

Turns up and announces that he/she is a professional musician. Actually this has only happened twice, once with a drummer who is now really good, once with a multi instrumentalist, who was really bad.

The Gadgeteer

Turns up with instrument, plus stand, plus three mutes, plus “special” microphone, plus complicated instructions for the other musicians.

As a general principle: the competence of the musician is in inverse proportion to the number of gadgets.

The Instructor

Spends more time on directions than on actually playing the damn piece. Typically, tells the other musicians what a B Section is, where a B section is, and how many times it should be played, and in what order. Invariably this does not correspond to the 5 page chart said instructor has provided. But that doesn’t matter as half the musos weren’t going to take a blind bit of notice anyway. TW