Christmas 2011 Newsletter to 2017

26th October 2011

Captain Chaos Quartet spreads the Lurv.

It's true, the Captain has found a venue that hasn't heard of us, and we've suckered Nurul Rahman into singing a full set, from 5.30 this Friday, at the Golden Age Hotel, corner of King Street and Little Lonsdale. Don't bother coming, there is stuff all parking for about three gazillion miles in any direction. The general idea (if we had one, which we probably don't) is that we will put in a slowly rotating band for the evening, with a different guest singer (a guessed singer? aghast singer? whatever, you decide) each week until the venue gets sick of us. Anyone with any ideas for about three weeks from now?If this doesn't go according to plan, and we find we have to keep doing it, the idea (that makes two in one week . . . ) is to gradually introduce other guest musos into the mix. 

December 2011

So Madge has resorted to thrusting her not inconsiderable charms at innocent apprentices from the Altona Refineries Carpet Layers Union, in the hopes of some free shag pile for her bedroom

December 2011 The Christmas Party

So, there we were, all set to mangle and no bass player. Frankly, that is not good enough. One by one, a bunch of musos turned up, tuned in and cocked up almost every tune on principle. (so as not to embarrass the others, one would suppose.) In no time at all, the session was in full festive swing, and by the end of the day, at least 22 musos had given it a red hot go. Remembering that many names, and devising a suitable insult for Alan is no easy task, so I confess to having taken notes....

Started on piano, the Captain on sax, Al the Jazz on drums, then Noriyo took over, Taariq turned up for bass duties much to her relief, Kay sang, Jack played trombone and then developed an alarming paunch and a bright red suit, Anton and family turned up having travelled all the way from the Glasshouse Hotel (aka  Todger Dodger Towers, where he last played a jam session) via Indonesia to get here, and blew the rust off his bass lines. Then Peter (sax), Paul (trombone), John  (guitar) played various tunes, sometimes at the same time and in the same key, but not in a boastful way. Scoop McCue fronted with his box brownie, John lent his (tiny) guitar to Jacin the unpronounceable, whose own instrument had been damaged in service as a paella paddle or something - it's hard to tell with the Spanish. (Hortense read that last bit and has booked with Iberian Airlines already, by the way). The afternoon waxed ever louder, with Glen supplanted at his own drum set by Danilo from Italy, Keef sauntered in a with a fat lip, t'other Frank found a few sax toons to his liking, and Ray "Lounge" Hood absolutely nailed some great solos. . Mark got through Lullaby of Birdland with some help from Kay, a fine first effort,  Fred bongoed up and was grooving along nicely to every bossa in sight, Trevor scored a coupla bluesy numbers on mouth harp, and Peter (Germany) on guitar played some slick lines. Richard tried beating the crap out of the keyboard, but sounded great with it, and just as we were planning to pull the pin, the Divine Miss Smiff hobbled in on crutches to wrap up proceedings in fine , fine style. Hip and groovy has a new meaning, apparently.

All up, a great session - the standard noticeably higher than last year, but we are working on it. And as for a suitable insult for Al the Jazz? Not possible, he doesn't own a suit.

January 2012

Sunday Arvo's Jammers: a potted Who's Who.

Frank is the bass player. Has a habit of chopping off his own fingers, and has been known to play in the key of H.. Strangely, neither trait affects his playing much....

Captain Chaos (saxophone): proudly boasts a rat cunning index of about 11, due to his habit of always finding a tune he knows, and occasionally handing out charts in the wrong key. Has never dropped a bar or missed a beat in his life, and we've got Col's word for that.

Danielo the drummer: works for Fiat, so we know he is not an auto-electrican.

Tom the drummer, Not to be confused with the other Tom the drummer, as he is confused enough already.

Keef: (Saxophone) Recently shaved off the facial fungus, and is now unrecognisable. Not that he was ever that recognisable anyway.

Rob "Inky fingers" McCue, esteemed editor and occasional pianist of the scottish persuasion. Got roaring drunk on Hogmanay and has never been the same since. And we're talking about 1973...

Don: (guitar) moonlights as lead guitarist in a hip hop calypso outfit. Never hangs out with less than three band groupies. Or not, who knows. He has never denied it, mainly because I have never asked him. So it could be true. Might own a salami factory.

Kay: Singer. Spent years in the Northern Territory trying to turn handbags into crocodiles, then saw the light and has been warbling by numbers ever since.

Trevor: blues harp, hat and a wide, wide grin.. They say you can't really dig the blues until you have experienced real hardship in your life. After listening to Trevor, we can all dig it that little bit more.. just kiddin' Trev...

Noriyo: piano player.  Turns out arrigato is not a pasta salad after all. My mistake.

Fred: bongoes. Fred is 22, but has done a helluva lot of naughty things with his bongos. Or he is not 22 and the bongoes are blameless. You decide.

Ali (saxophone) Came from Indonesia, or the Phillippines or somewhere else. No boats were involved.

James: the drummer: Like many drummers, James is an intellectual, with a serious approach to his craft, and a real dedication to technical excellence. Then he starts hitting things. .

Last but not leased: Louis the Fly: Mellodica. Which he sucks and blows in about equal proportions. Very popular with the ladies.

A stellar lineup, which made for a fine afternoon's entertainment.

12th April 2012 Grand Hotel Sessions

Next week sees the return of Amy Jaulin (Friday) who draws a crowd and will be tearing up a few funk numbers; and Saturday it is over to the delectable Miss Smith who will be wearing a full length ball gown and teasing the barman with her feather boa, whilst singing a range of jazz standards and Croatian goat herders love songs, all in Hungarian. Or not as the case may be. 

19th April Jam Session

I have always held a soft spot for those many saxophonists who can't count at all, as it can cut out a lot of confusion. Captain Chaos can of course count all the way up to four, as we know to our cost.

Al "Papa" Jazz, drummer to the stars, sat quietly amongst the enthusiastic if slightly confused and/or medicated audience. Drumming is at the very heart of jazz, indeed of all music - it is thought that primitive man, Neanderthal possibly, created the first music by crudely beating a hollow log with a stick to create rhythm. You only have to look at Al to realise that this is a tradition which has been carried down through the generations with little change. Apparently.

25th April 2012 Jam Session

By my reckoning (dodgy, admittedly) the highest standard of music, consistently, across the whole session, since the Leinster started to go downhill (I think we have been there about 2 years)

So, what next? … Anyone with a modicum of common sense is strongly advised to not turn up. Although, now I think of it, that isn't going to cut out too many jammers at all.Ya wouldn't be dead for quids

june 15th 2012 Jam Session

Six guitarists!''

June7th 2012

“  I neglected to mention someone last week, but I can't remember  who. So if it was Col, Noel, Aaron, Taariq, Stan, Bob, Gentleman John Curtis, Rocket Rod, Jack the Lad, Lisbeth, Sandro, or meself, consider yourself neglected this week as well... “

September 6th 2013

There are three rules for playing good jazz.

Unfortunately, no-one knows what they are.

October 11th 2013 Jam Session

Indeed, all was going well until Melinda Traves bounced in later. Then it all went very much better. Lively and enjoyable set. The Lunatic Soup Lounge was rockin'.

November 15th 2013 Jack's Accident

And Jack! Long term jammers may remember he was mowed down by a Pajero going backwards, whilst strolling across Queen Street. Jack, not the Pajero. Rumour has it he was playing his trombone at the time. A complete defence against a charge of careless driving. Anyhoo, the crash has severely affected his trombone playing abilities, to the extent that he now sounds pretty damn good. He was good before of course, but not damn pretty. Anyway, a long convalescence ensued, which he survived despite Audrey telling me she was ready to throttle the old sod on several occasions,

2014

We started advertising the first Castlemaine Jazz Festival

The Newsletter waxed a little esoteric, with articles on Jon Donne, and on the origins of Australia as a name.

January 24th 2014

Rubys Music Room: The Captain Chaos Sessions

The Friday sessions see the Divine Miss Smith on 24th January, always assuming she turns up, and even remembers to bring her charts with her. The sublime Andy Moon on bass, Dean C on drums and quite possibly a surprise appearance by none other than Captain Chaos hisself. Should be a good night.

And next week, Miss Anne Hayres on 31st January. Or better still. Don't Miss Anne Hayres.

At Ramage

Have no clue who this might be? Me, of course, with some bluddy sax player getting in the way.

Last Hurrah at The Grand Hotel

Friday 13th saw the last Hurrah at the Grand Hotel. The room was sparsely populated, with a sad, untuned, unloved piano set aside. The guests who had ventured in ate more or less speechless. It was a quiet and dismal place...

Meanwhile, out the back, we was having a Ball! Great set by Ruby Rogers, in front of a standing room only crowd, followed by cameo appearances from The Debster, Miss Hayres, Celeste, Emma Sidney (interloper, but we didn't mind), Buddy and I forget who else. Doug and Dean were there, Gentleman John Curtis was there, Sam Izzo was there, Ben Stewart was there, Julian was there, the Captain was there, and a whole bunch of others too talented young and good looking to name

February 20th 2014

After the Halls Gap weekend saxophone free session (ah, 'twas bliss for the singers!) normal service was resumed with the Reverend C Chaos back in the pulpit. Amongst the many fine psalms enjoyed by a largish congregation, the two stand-outs of the arvo were St Thomas, never played better (coming off a low base, admittedly) with James Chan sublime on drums, Brent (new tenor sax) soloing and a good time had by all; and Chelly going the turps on Cry Me  A River

February 27th 2014 A Quiet Little Drink

And we all played the usual rubbish, followed by the unusual rubbish, followed probably by more of the usual rubbish. Time to lean on the bar and have a Quiet Little Drink. “Twas all fun, but.

Jam Session, March 28th 2014

The Gold Street Gossip Shop : Well, that was weird...

It could have been the cold weather, but personally I think society is to blame.

Nobody received a knighthood, so that was nice..

Ali at The Leinster – where is he now?

Rubys Music Room: The Captain Chaos Sessions, 2014

We ran different line-ups each week for a while – Friday night sessions that varied hugely in quality and audience. Singers included Annie Smith, Sevil Sabah, Amy Jaulin and Celeste Polson. The latter turned up with a “professional” guitarist who promptly picked a fight with Rob Cripps, the owner. So helpful.

Ruby's Music Room cost a fortune, ran for a while, then closed. Gorgeous piano, not the easiest of venues to play.

“Amy Jaulin takes time out from her studies to don the 3" eyelashes and glam it up for Ruby's this Friday. Doug Kuhn on the profound bass, the Constable in percussive mode, and meself trying to make the Steinway giggle. Oh, and the estimable Captain Chaos will quite possibly be making saxaphonic noises from time to time, because, let's face it, that is what he does best...”

Tip of the week (aug 25th 2017): Do not obsess needlessly about playing things right! Playing the right notes out of tune has about the same effect as playing the wrong ones in tune. 

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