Threat Identification Chart: A guide to musical instruments

Threat Identification Chart: A guide to musical instruments

Low flying saxophone. Do not pick one of these up, they are liable to explode and spray shattered egos everywhere

Incomplete drumkit. Complete drumkit is a mythical concept, apparently. Barely adequate for the average drummer, often ruined by the use of drumsticks. Extra carpet required for M Hirsh esq.

Eclectic guitar. This is perfect in every way, especially as it doesn’t have a lead.

Two handed piano. This instrument has 88 keys – a lot of choices, all of them wrong.